15. Fine Accommodations

He looks like he runs a tight ship. (“Soundproof. Elevator. Watchman.”)  Brooks no nonsense. Whattya wanna bet he hangs around and makes conversation when you’re at the pool.

 


Look! Scientists sitting around! Most of their wives are dressed like the scientist wives in 50’s sci-fi films, too! Hot damn.

 But…is it safe to bring visiting nuclear scientists to the U.S., thinking they’d be part of a privilege-dripping Brain Drain…and then put them up at this dump? Surely atomic secrets were purloined out of sheer resentment.

 


Ah, the Golden Age of Nomenclature! Who cares if the place was a dump, if the name was catchy enough?


 

 

 

Though it claimed to be “Florida’s Most Attractive Hotel and Home for aged Christians,” this “home” did NOT please “Brother Mar,” who writes scathingly: “I am here but it is much overcolored & overrated—I was quite disappointed in it & folks who run it.”

 

 

 

Let’s hope that if he meant by “overcolored” what I think he meant, that he was subsequently forced to rely upon the generosity of those whose presence he disdained for the washing of his robes—bath, ministerial, and Klan.


What the…? Well, that is just scary.

 


Yes, JUST for you. You called for a reservation; at that point, construction frantically commenced.

 



Authentic Islamic Motifs
 


Is that little dude on the reverse side carrying a gun?? Jihad against Ben Gaines and his infidel lodging!

 

Wouldn’t Homeland Security be all over that event?

 


The “C.S” stands for Christian Science. I guess in this sanatorium, you’d just lie there and hope for the best. Hey, it has one of those dressing screen things! Maybe Mary Baker Eddy herself once draped a nylon over the top?

 


Whoa!

 


To rest after amblyopia surgery, maybe.


Motels know that to lure guests, images of sexy guests are de rigeur!
 

Skank alert on the diving board!

The normal illustrator was out sick; his neorealist artist brother filled in, documenting the dark decomposition that is the human destiny.

 

You can even take their pictures! Though this one might end up as evidence in a murder trial.


Sadly, no longer in existence.

 


Spears! And so often in tropical-themed motel cards, a lei is cast off carelessly on the bedspread, suggesting that exotic Polynesian love secrets can be learned at Bob’s Outrigger Hotel. These both feature something going on in the back room...best not to look too closely.

 

 



Design! Enjoy.