24. When Alligators Attack

First, a look at the alligator farm: that übertourist destination that takes full advantage of the permission granted in Genesis for man to have dominion over all those other creatures. Where tourists could fear the mighty reptile from behind a fence, possibly be photographed with a live or stuffed gator, and load up on alligator-skin handbags and shoes in the gift shop.

Two questions: (1) What are they eating? (2) Why are those two guys upside down?

Sometimes there’s the pretense of Alligator Training.
Alligator training
 
Tell me this trainer wasn’t nicknamed “The Professor”
 

The guy with the stick says “Smile, darn ya, smile!”

 

A hyphen would make all the difference in the world…

 

These were from the days before Children’s Protective Services opened a branch office at The Alligator Farm.

This photo would seem to be the same farm as the one above, perhaps even the same longsuffering gator.  (Note: I hate my species.)

Early on, the tourist powers that be realized the powerful draw of the gator.

 

This one is apparently wearing lipstick…or maybe that’s supposed to be the blood of a hapless victim.

 
 
 

A real Indian princess! And an authentic swamp clock!

 


These next two fellows tried to impress the folks back home with their bravery.
 

In 1918, Mr. C.G.H. sent this card to a Miss Goldie, relying on the presence of the deadly reptile to offset the negative effects of his five-month fever.

 

In 1913, T.S. Moody tries to convince his friend Frank that he has been in “a scrap” with this suspiciously rigid pair of creatures.

 

Malevolent Gators: Off the Farm, They Show Their True Colors!

And here is a strange biological fact: alligators LIVE to attack human buttocks! There's something not-quite-right about this...something unnatural....

Even more strange: humans feel an irresistible compulsion to PROFFER their derrieres to the beasts! In card after card, the gators are offered free, easy access to the gluteus maximii.

 

She seems curiously jolly about the prospect of having large portions of her flesh flensed by a saurian

 

 
 
Caution: her eyeshadow may contain toxic substances
 
 
The joke will be on him when her hat clogs his intestinal tract!
 
 

Noooooo! Not Bettie Page!
 

 
 
Not that there’s anything wrong with it....
 
 
The entire meme boiled down to the basics
 
 
And damn their souls, now they’re teaching their perverted ways to crustaceans.